*Now* we can list symptoms and debate the merits of my pregnancy case. Indeed, it’s the weirdness I’ve been feeling that emboldened me to bang out out that previous heartfelt post in the first place, not some hope that I was with child.

For the past 7 days I have had indigestion after 80% of my meals, felt queezy 5% of the time in general, experienced a growling stomach 5 times, had ever so slight metallic taste in my mouth yesterday after downing a bottle of water on an empty stomach, had a runny nose twice and the craziest HD dream of my whole life. I never had indigestion, which has been this strange combo of burping, queasiness and a thick lump in my throat. My stomach never growls because I am always dumping food into it.

Now, for all the reasons these are not pregnancy symptoms because if there is one thing thats more fun than building a case, it’s tearing it down. 1.) I eat crap, in a crappy way every single day and have gained weight over the past 6 months, about 10 pounds. Pizza and chocolate Frosties figure heavily into my diet. So, of course I’ve developed indigestion. And allergy season is bananas everywhere, so of course my nose is runny. And the metallic taste is psychosomatic because the Privilege Lady said that was her symptom and the growling stomach is just dumb. This is the sour apple in my head speaking.

So, from the loftiest heights of maternal longing to the cold bean-counting of bodily functions we have descended. Wifebian and I are making crude jokes about abortion and vomit and otherwise trying to have fun. This is a very new two weeks of waiting for me; I havent actually ever thought I was pregnant during the other ones.

Wifebian says we shouldnt test again until Saturday, but I think Wednesday is reasonable, that will be 14 dpo. But then, this morning, when I taunted her with the test, she said, “We can always buy more.”

(CD 30, 11 DPO.)