Work It, Wife Baby

March 5, 2010


I really like the pace of the routine that trying to conceive a baby creates. Nothing lasts more than a week, so I’m always a little excited for what’s next and a little grateful that last part is over. On my period? Grateful that I finally know I’m not pregnant, excited to drink! The week after my period? Grateful my period is done, excited to inseminate! Cycle week 3? Grateful that the stress of timing that shit is over with, excited to be pregnant!

Cycle week 4. That’s a hard one actually. By this point, I’ve pretty much known I’m not pregnant and I’m stressing about how much digital *everything* costs and if I should test and how much I want a fucking beer.  So . . . grateful that I am one month closer to knowing my fate (for the time being) and excited to . . . drink? Can I be excited to drink two weeks in a row?

In other baby-making news, on Thursday, we will order 4 sperm shots on liquid nitrogen to be delivered Saturday. the gay sperm man won’t really give me any information about buying or ordering a catheter because I might accidentally perform an IUI and our donor’s sperm shots are unwashed. Gay sperm man is really not trying to empower me at all. I mean, it’s great to keep this whole ttc thing “in the family”, but what’s it matter if your “family” is anti-feminist and refuses to explain RISKS and BENEFITS so you can make YOUR OWN decisions?

So, if I were to follow my own advice, I would bully him for the information I need and just get my supplies elsewhere. Or maybe I’ll go to a medical supply store and figure it out myself. I have to track down some Pre-Seed anyway. I should say that he is sending a speculum I asked for. I also asked if they came in pink — I wrote the word pink in the color pink and everything — but he ignored the question. He just said that he would do it, and was sure to add that he has never done it before.  This strikes me as irritating. But maybe I’m reading too much into. OK . . . probably.

Finally, I’ve lost both BB thermometers! Really? Both?


Wifebian and I have also fallen into a nice routine. My client caseload has shifted and we have most evenings together. We watch a made-for-cable drama, read some poems, tease and snuggle and go to bed. I love going to bed.


I had a conversation with my boss yesterday and it would appear that there is no doubt that I will get the raise that goes with my license. Hey. You remember that weird co-worker I mentioned? He was fired the third week of November after making veiled threats toward me. And, except for those phone calls he made to clients asking if they would support him in a law suit, he was never heard from again. Also, I will know by March 22nd if I am licensed. Finally, I found a program called the National Health Service Corps, which will pay more than 50,000 dollars of my commercial student loans in exchange for two years of service in a health professional shortage area. Not that I need another variable in my life, but I could erase about 60,000 dollars of debt in the next two and a half years so . . . let the variance begin!


Lists in a Time of Triumph

February 24, 2010

I passed!

Next steps:

Get paid

Take ethics course on-line ($50.00)

Get money order for $100.00

Gather up borrowed materials

Find P-LCSW acceptance letter

Find stamps

Find envelopes

Give materials and P-LCSW letter to clinical supervisor

Complete LCSW application with clinical supervisor

Place it in the envelope

Stamp it

Mail application

Wait for the board to approve my license, while giving myself 1,000 kisses all over

Receive license in the mail

Take license to work

Give license to my supervisor

Ask for a fucking raise

Get a fucking raise

Wave goodbye to the financial nightmare that was moving to . . . this place

Tomorrow I take a test that will cost me three hundred bucks and four hours. Passing it gives me the opportunity for a big raise and/or the right to practice social work in people’s homes for cold, hard cash.

It’s just that I’m not a big studier.

Er, study-er. For example, I just made 20 flash cards. Only 12 hours before the test. Also, I have taken two practice tests. I got a 70 on one and an 80 on another. (One needs an 80 to pass.) Finally, I’m on my third beer.

Lest you think I am irresponsible, I am also about to take some ibuprofen.

And I visited the testing site today to make sure that I won’t get lost (only because a client ended up canceling) and I found out that I need to have $3.00 to park. Which led to me to the Rite-Aid . . . for some cash back . . . and flashcards. (And, a six pack of Blue Moon.)

Here’s the thing: this is how I am. irregularly prepared and flagrantly irresponsible. Intelligent and conscientious about the hows and whys to a fault in the day to day, hopefully preparing me over the course of three years to take this test, rather than the final three months. I may or may not have documentation of my 40 CEUs and I sure as hell dont look forward to the conversation in which I explain that Wifebian has to pay extra rent because I will be spending $150.00 on the application fee and my last five CEUs, but hey.

Also, my library books are overdue and I ate fast food for two out of the last three meals, but I’m probably gonna pass this test anyway. That’s usually how it goes, unless I’m taking statistics for graduate school, in which case it doesnt.

But if I don’t, pass it, that is, it will cost me 90 days and $750.00 (test fee plus continued supervisor fees), which sux, but probably won’t make the world grind to grinding halt, either.

This is how I am. And I’m tired of feeling bad about it.

Goodnight! Good luck! Good riddance!

Actually, I’m excited to take it.