Sup, New Cube?

September 28, 2010

So, my new health insurance offers lifetime coverage of up to 5,000 dollars for infertility. IUIs and progesterone, and clomid and sonograms and shots will be covered, which is awesome.

But probably not sperm, right? Neither my agency, nor Wifebian’s offers a health savings account, so we will prolly have to scrape together 1,000.00 per month on our own to pay for sperm. Or, we find free sperm. Both seem unlikely. Wifebian has taken a $10,000 pay cut moving into her new job. I have taken a $3,000 cut. We know no local, liberal men.

Options include:

1.) We could stay with the old bank, which is 400.00 bucks a month, but switch donors. Which would make sperm more affordable, but fuck me if I go back to that place and the next donor’s counts suck again.

2.) We could put out ads in the local papers looking for liberal, young, gay men with lots and lots of patience for reproductive shenanigans, but that is a little, um, beyond the pale, in a weird, utopian, creepy sort of way. Not to mention, a long shot.

3.) We could also, in some equally weird manuver, ask our blog friends to recommend their donor to us and use that wacky overnight sperm collecting/shipping service. I seriously have daydreams about this being the perfect soultion. Brave new community or creep-tastic? Mostly, a long shot, really.

4.) We could wait until NHSC pays off my student loans, which would allow us to buy good / expesnsive sperm every other month, but there is no way my loans will be paid off by December, which is when my insurance kicks in. Also, I turn 33, like, yesterday. Not a lot of time to wait.

5.) Wifebian could find some tutoring gigs and I could provide some private therapy. I did, afterall, just buy some liability coverage and will be providing intake and assessments on a contractual basis at my old job. Maybe I can just try to take on some outpatient clients through them; that woudl require a round trip commute of 4 hours 3 days a week. Or I could find my own clients in Asheville. Brave new world. We would have to scrape together 15-20 clients per week. Serious work.

6.) Re-approach first known donor who turned us down and also approach these two other guys with whom we are friends up in D.C.

What do you think? Have I left any stones unturned? Any other ideas? I’m grateful I have a couple of months to gear up for this next round.

Oi.

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Asheville Update Sperm Edition

September 18, 2010

So, a 5th grade teacher at Wifebian’s new school is actually our new sperm donor, in disguise. The reason I know this is that he is newly married and in possession of a three month old baby by open adoption. Also, and perhaps most revealing as to his true identity, he is gay and lives down the street from us.

Let the fresh buckets of sperm rain down upon me now; I love Asheville.

But also, he is from Seattle.

Oh, shit!

Dan Savage is our new next door neighbor!

— Me and the gay sperm man talked. I mean, if he and I can’t get along, then why are we all so frustrated with the Israelis and the Palestinians? I wasnt 100% honest with him about how I felt condescended by his self-serving capriciousness when it came to his reasoning to offer free sperm, but in the end, we made nice.

— The potential friend of a friend said we would talk on Sunday, but they never called. Poor form. This week I will ask Wifebian to seriously consider asking our other friends sometime soon.

— I got a positive OPK this morning, but Wifebian and I have decided to skip this cycle because we would like to celebrate her birthday in style. Plus, next month, she wont be working and can attend the IUI and we will have money for the 7 day tank instead of the 1 day styrofoam box o’ dry ice.

— Off to meet my new clients!