Weren’t We Brave

February 21, 2011

Wedding Wish by Eric Kolvig

“Here is my wish for you in your marriage:

May you take refuge in each other as a strong sangha of two.

Elie Wiesel, Nobel Laureate, wrote: “If to be free is the most important goal of all, to help someone to be or become free must be the most sublime and rewarding of human endeavors.”

I wish you deep, sustaining love for each other, but as rare as authentic love is, helping someone to be or become free is even rarer.

If you make such mutual help the organizing principle of your life together, then authentic love and all other goodness will flow and purify between you as a natural result. The final exam of your helping each other to be or become free is likely to be losing each other. As surely as this wedding joins you, death or estrangement will part you.

I hope that you will never take for granted that which can never be taken for granted. If you know in your hearts everyday that you will lose each other, then you can cut away attachment with the fierce courage of the fox that chews off it own leg to free itself from the trap.

If you know for certain this approaching loss, perhaps every day you can thank each other for the invaluable gift of that day together. Perhaps this knowing will help you live gratefully and urgently together in the present moment. And perhaps dwelling deeply in the present will even allow you to see that separation is only an illusion, that no loss is possible and that you are bringing eachother home.”

Lauren, I love you.


Protected: For My Wife Only

December 27, 2010

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Last night was Wifebian’s back to school night. I brought her dinner and the dog, who romped around with another teacher’s dog, a 60 pound, blue-eyed cattle-something mutt-puppy named Blueberry. I met one of her families, a white Jewish family with a pretty disturbed kid. From what my antennas tell me, the kid’s mom is not just straight. And dad is a religious official attached to a local institution. (Had to go to Miriam Webster for that circumlocuting verbage, can’t be too specific, small town, you know where I live.) Anyway, I was very touched by their struggle and their awesome personalities. They also told us about dog parks and where we can find beer ice cream.

I am going through a technology renaisance as of late. With my smart phone I am exploring the nooks and crannies of Twitter and Foursquare marvelling at the ways in which this little mini calling-computer changes the game. Wifebian has been video-chatting with her sister via gmail. I contemplate questions like, “What’s the difference between a Tweet and a status update?” and “If Facebook has a placefinder, what’s the particular benefit of Foursquare?” The primary impediment to total enjoyment of all of these place-loving, extemporaneous social network fun and games is my lack of a social network. A local one, anyway.

Here’s hoping.  

Also, I havent quite been able to figure out how to enable comments on my Tumblr blog. I’m using Disqus and something’s just not clicking. So, I’m not quite at home there, yet.

In terms of our adjustment to this real home, we are still focused on our jobs. We are rounding out the tail-end of week two. Wifebian is a special education teacher in a full-time BED classroom and is getting hit, kicked and bit at least once a week. I am still in training at my job which is probably going to be super-cushy. (The perfect job for getting pregnant in.) But I dont have a sense of the ebbs and flows of working 3 twelve-hour night shifts. I go into my first night-shift cycle tonight at 8:00 PM and dont come out until Monday at 3 because I am getting off work and driving three hours round trip to do an assessment with my other job.  

Plus, we havent seen much of Asheville because we are broke. But then, Wifebian’s former and current employers both paid her for a full month of work in September, so we are now in the money and things are looking up.

The apartment is a mess, my car smells bad and we have at least six loads of dirty laundry piled in the bedroom with no washer/dryer in sight, but my mind has slowed down a little and is being nicer to me, and the knots in my back have been gone for a while.

The mountains are beautiful.

UPDATE: I fixed the comments! Go to the non – anonymous site  and say something about stinkbugs! It will make my day!