The Widening Gyre

November 15, 2010

Reporting to you live from where Wifebian and I are from. Somewhere up North, mid-Atlantic even.

I am in the home of a friend who has left me with her delicious couch, internet connection and cable TV for the morning.

Non-monogamy update: Wifebian and I had a nice talk with Borderline. Prior to this, Wifebian and I had resolved to give Borderline and Green a present. This one  day, all four of our horoscopes were freakishly speaking to one another. I will cut out the horoscopes, give them a copy of The Ethical Slut and a copy of Ashley and Kisha — the most boring porn in the world, but it’s about black lady love and if I’m trying to communicate anything in this situations it’s that our relationships to our partners matter and need to be nourished and treasured.

Baby-making update: I’m feeling more and more confident. The time is coming . . . approaching like a behemoth or a widening gyre. Plus, I had a pregnancy dream last night.

Reasons to be hopeful:

1.) I live in a town teeming with progressive people — straight and gay. If a newspaper ad is going to unearth a low-cost candidate, this is the place.

2.) Wifebian and I get paid once a month at our new jobs. So, although we wont have a health savings account to mine for big chunks of known, budgetable, predictable cash, our jobs will be dumping large lumps sums into each of our accounts every 14 days

3.) Within the year my student loans will be gone, freeing up 500 dollars a month

4.) I am hormonally, structurally, anatomically, physiologically cleared for baby-making

5.) I work and have to care about work for only 72 hours out of the week, leaving 4 days – during the traditional work week, during business hours — to finagle doctors, tanks, customer service representatives and other people’s schedules

6.) My new health insurance covers up to 5,000 dollars of infertility treatment — pills, injections, catheters, consultations

7.) We are expecting massive tax returns this year, especially me, because I just set it up so the government would suck me dry all year and then dump my money back on me this year. “Smart” way to save and invest my money, no. “Highly effective”, yes.

Questions that remain:

1.) Why was my pregesterone at 40 that one time?

2.) Who will be our sperm donor?

3.) What is the new name of that clinic that my coworker used five years ago?

Next steps:

1.) Answer questions above

2.) Seriously propose to Wifebian that we draft an ad, seriously draft ad, consider publications, price it

3.) Complete health insurance paperwork by Friday

4.) Email coworker and see if she wants to meet for lunch. Secretly pray her donor is known and local and deeply committed to starting many lesbian families with his seed

In closing, I can safely say in all confidence that break #1 will be over by February 2011, at the latest. I will be 33 years and 4 months old.


2 Responses to “The Widening Gyre”

  1. Lisa said

    I am here to thank you for your comment on Practical Wed. Didn’t want to do it there because I feel odd about how happy the comments make me, if that makes sense, and I don’t want that post to be all about me. So I came here to tell you I think you are a very intelligent, very original, very brave person. I hear the story of you and your mothering history and I feel for you. And I also respect and admire and enjoy the way you’ve made such a life for yourself.

    Don’t worry, BTW, I’m no heroine. Just a regular person who had some children and adored them. But I was surrounded by resources. Few people have that privilege. You are making your own healthy myth and saga. I thank you.

  2. Angie said

    yea, what lisa said.

    but from someone who is less well-spoken and also in awe of your awesomness… this post just adds to how admirable you are. kind, understanding, and ready for making teh babes! w00t!

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