The Lesbian Movie of the Century

Living where I live and all, I know I am sixteen years late to the party, but Wifebian came home last night with six free passes to The Kids Are All Right for next weekend. (Not that we have four friends or anything . . . ) But, me and Wifebian are super excited for this movie, so excited and so hopeful, in fact, that we were originally going to invite her family to come with us, what with this being the year of Wifebian telling her mother about my ovulatory cycles.

But, then, when we found out that Julianne Moore (lesbian wife mom) sleeps with Mark Ruffalo (straight sperm donor), we decided not to. Being bisexual and out to her family, I have had to fend off a few choice comments over the first year of our marriage ranging from  insinuations that I am trying to turn Wifebian into a man to pointed questions about who I like more — men or women, that such a plot twist would open season on bigger and better comments, I’m sure.

But, point is, I’m just pouring over the reviews by the older, wiser lesbian moms and realizing how grateful I am to have older, wiser lesbian moms. I mean, I know we feel like we in some brave, new world with this baby-making stuff, but we really arent. We are so not brave or new that there’s a movie about what our lives will be like — twenty years from now!

So, the older, wiser lesbians — and some of the young, smart ones too — are assuring us that the part where the lesbian wife sleeps with the sperm donor is not terrible, but in fact universal, and some others of us should get our panties out of the bunch. And, in addition to dozens of important critic-types calling the movie good, it would also appear that its a money-making beast-let, which is always nice.

So, all-around score for the lesbians.

Except for the fact that the movie lesbians named their kid “Laser“, I mean, why aren’t we up in arms about that?