The Try That Wouldnt Die

July 6, 2010

Try #6 was supposed to happen last month but we called it off because we just didnt feel like it after a traumatic try #5. Hence, “the try that wouldnt die”. But, now it is dead, moldering on the floor of the interwebs being transformed from a try into a wait by the beatles and bugs.

The Good

— We were given 6 ccs of free sperm with a street value of $750.00

— The gay sperm man charged us less than usual for the shipping of the sperms

— We got .5 ccs of that sperm through my cervix and into my uterus

— We dumped in the other 5.5. cc’s into my vag all in the same day, basically

— The IUI was 90% less painful than last time and the PA that did it was 25% friendlier

— Wifebian came with me to the appointment and made me laugh and hugged me when no one was watching and made people be nice to us without them even knowing they were being made

The Bad

— The insurance company has stopped processing claims until I call. I mean, what??? What do you want already?

— No one at the clinic could explain to me why they couldnt take those 6 ccs of sperm and do something with them to increase the sperm count of the .5 ccs that went into my cooch. I asked and asked. Can you help me with this?

— I didnt have the heart to ask them to eyeball the sample they did get and tell me what they thought. But we overheard people in the hallway making unfavorable remarks, if they were even talking about our sperm at all

— The clinic was unable to schedule us for a second IUI because their lab staff doesnt come in until 9AM. I asked them how many IUIs they do a month and they said “5”.

— I didnt stay on top of my OPKs and my surge window is therefore a little wide. Best case scenario, the insemination happened 30 hours post surge. Worst cases, yes there are two worst cases, the IUI happened 24 hours or 40 hours post surge.

The Ugly

If you are still having the urge to be hopeful, do not, I repeat, do not be hopeful. I am the fifth woman to use this donor and there are 15 cycles prior to this one failing to result in a pregnancy. This is donor #25-182-702, by the way. That one was for you, Gayby Rabies. And when we switch to a new donor at the Sperm Bank of California, I’ll post his number, too.

I’m not mad that we spent 6 tries with this donor. I wasnt ready to give up the open donation part and the gay donor part and this particular donor part. But now I am, so

no more pussy-footing around.

3 Responses to “The Try That Wouldnt Die”

  1. wait, they don’t give you a count at the RE’s? bogus.

    i hope this is the one, but if it’s not, i think you’re wise to switch banks.

    • mrsbasement said

      they arent an RE, I have found out the hard way. They say they treat infertility, but at 5 IUIs a month and sperm analysis not being on their menu of services, I have to say no. Changing banks, changing clinics.

  2. Nope, that wasn’t one of the guys we tried. Our first guy had a pathetic 2 million per vial, the second wasn’t that much better. Mr.Gay Sperm Man sends you extra vials because it usually takes a few of their vials to equal the count you’d get from another place. It was really hard for us to give up on the open donor / gay donor thing too. I hope the extra vials you used did the trick and that SOMEONE can be a success story using this place.

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