Swimming in the Car

April 29, 2010

The little sil called to say that middle sil was on her way to the hospital. Wifebian called her mom. I tweezed my eyebrows and chin hair and decided I wasnt going to the hospital while they discussed logistics. Middle sil sent a text message saying, “My water broke and I am basically swimming in the car,” which was totally funny.

Wifebian wants me to go to the hospital. So I’m going.

She is running around the house and we are singing a customized version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” in which the baby’s name figures prominently. Everyone is very excited and giggling and I’m thinking, “This is the part where people die,” which would be a very unpopular thing to say out loud right now. Cautious optimism is more my tact.

Hopefully, no one will say anything to me about anything having to do with me. And hopefully the baby will be born quickly. I would like to bring pillows and blankets to the place. Last time we were in the hospital with middle sil, she was having terrible back pains and we stayed until 2 AM dipping french fries into chocolate shakes. I need a book. Maybe we should stop off for some Wendy’s and make a tradition of it.

Go time. Get happy.

I am always so slow to get into the spirit of things . . .

Oh, man. Here comes Wifebian. Wet, standing in the doorway asking me if everything is going to be OK. Oh! Oh! Here comes the part where she yells at me for being on the computer and for being distant and then she whines and commands me to hug her even though she is wet. And here comes the part where I have to get off the computer and tell her this is the part where I get distant and she gets clingy. I love this part . . .

(insert Wifebian:  we moved here because of a death.  so it only seems natural that i would be worried about another one.  now get off of the fucking computer and be with me.  these are the building blocks of great marriages.  lets go get a frosty and bring it to the maternity ward!)

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