Catching Slime, Relieving Tension

April 27, 2010

There is a bag of baby carrots in the fridge. Last week, I noticed that the baby carrots were putrefying when I picked up the bag and found a puddle of slime underneath of it. I wiped the slime up and put the bag on top of a plate to catch the slime.

Tonight, I noticed that the bag of baby carrots was dangerously inflated, putting the refrigerator at risk of a big, gassy explosion. I gently placed the tip of a steak knife through the bag to relieve the tension. Then, I put the bag back on top of the plate to catch the slime.

Can you believe I get paid to tell people how to live their lives?


2 Responses to “Catching Slime, Relieving Tension”

  1. Ms. Loaf said

    I totally do that too, because I wait to throw out my perishables on garbage day, so that they don’t stink up the dumpster which is right next to my car.

    I think I have a similar bag of baby carrots in my fridge right now.

  2. Nicole said

    This is probably just preparing you for when the kid has science experiment homework. That way you can seem like you’re a natural science wiz and the kid will think you’re cool for keeping something so nasty in the fridge.

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