I Hover

April 18, 2010

I just woke up from a dream startled.

I was pregnant. My stomach was starting to cramp and I realized I hadnt had any prenatal care, I had posted on the blog, I hadnt taken pictures. But I’m grateful that I’ve gone into labor on a day off and I start to worry about money, though, because apparently I am an hourly employee. I work at a food store. Like Dean and Deluca.

I feel guilty for everything I’ve forgotten to do. I think about getting a 4d sonogram that day and wish I had the money. Im nauseous. I keep feeling nauseous and saying to myself that nausea is a symptom of early labor. And I’m feeling my belly and wondering why I’m not as big as my sil and sad I never felt the baby kick and I’m running around trying to get everything done and I keep poufing my stomach out because I can still do that a little.

And Wifebian’s mom is taking pictures of me front, back, the whole family. For some reason I think I’m having a boy and sil is having a boy and wont it be wonderful that Wifebian and bil-in-law can raise sons together. And I say to Wifebian, excitedly, we have to start packing a hospital bag!

And I’m exploring a huge gorgeous house that is attached her parents house and accidentally fall off a cliff that drops into an ocean, but I dont fall. I hover. And I take a few deep breaths and launch myself back onto the cliff. And I feel nauseous and say this is definitely a sign of early labor.

And just as I start to realize that I wanted to shave my head after the baby is born and feel relieved that I havent forgotten to do that and I’m holding plastic baggies because something is going in them, I’m putting something in them, I wake up.

And I still feel a little nauseous. And my heart is beating a mile a minute.

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2 Responses to “I Hover”

  1. Sarah said

    I’m reading this at 730 am, which is not the time I want to be up on Saturday, but because I had the most vivid, bizarre dream and had to clear my head and eat something. I tell you – start to finish – the dreams take over. When there is life inside you, so begins a new subconscious. I’d say, just like your dream, that this could be a sign of labor to come. !!

  2. Nicole said

    Whoa. This is intense. I can imagine how you must have felt waking up just by reading your description. Let’s hope your body is telling your mind a thing or two about what’s going on.

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