CR, CM and DM

February 18, 2010

So I was a women’s studies major in college and I was all into post modern stuff and structuralism and post structuralism standpoint theory and third wave; Yeah, I was real third wave.

Which means I wasn’t second wave. I didnt do things like buy Georgia O’Keefe prints or, like, learn about the cycles of the moon, or study matriarchal societies or look at my cervix. I also had no desire to work with children and I thought CR groups were hokie.

Anyway, with this whole getting pregnant thing. I’m on my back trying to channel your average obgyn during the bimanual exam and I believe I have now palpated my own uterus. I always knew that my ute was a little askew, but dude, my cervix is *way* off. Granted, I have scoliosis, so I’m sure everything is way off, but still. I was pretty surprised.

Also, about that cervical mucous problem I think I have, a quick review of the internets reveals that to improve cervical mucous I should:

1.) drink lots of water

2.) take evening primrose oil and robitussin (not DM) during cycle days 1-14

3.) avoid caffeine and dairy

But really, I mean, can’t I just, like, crack an egg and dab some around down there? The sperm man said the sperms come in a egg-type base and everybody’s running around comparing perfect cervical mucous to egg whites, so I’m just saying . . . who wants to choke down two tablespoons of Robitussin for 14 days?

Oh wait, I do.

New Shopping List for Try #3:

1.) Robitussin

2.) speculum (can’t find mine/ havent looked)

3.) prenatal vitamins (ran out)

4.) evening primrose oil pills

5.) a pallet of bottled water

6.) Taking Charge of Your Fertility (on hold at the library)

If only I didnt live across the street from a Starbucks, I’d be golden.

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6 Responses to “CR, CM and DM”

  1. Loaf said

    Evening Primrose is also awesome for cramps. And just as a money saving tip: I used to spend tons on bottled water, but now I have a Brita pitcher and keep it in the fridge, so I find I drink more water because it’s cold and I save money.

    That sounded hokey.

    Yay post-structuralists! I just read Irigaray for my queer theory class. God between their lips!

  2. Nicole said

    I’ve had issues with cervical mucus in the past and my acupuncturist recommended using Pre-Seed, which basically mimics the CM. You might want to check it out. Oh, and as for the cervix thing, I tried and tried and tried to feel mine and learn it’s different positions and all that and never could. Clearly I’m not second wave either!

  3. mrsbasement said

    My exhaustive internet research reveals pre-seed to be a much better idea than robitussin and evening primrose oil — as excited as I was to mix and match THAT combination! Thank you!

  4. Hannah said

    Well, I’m gonna have to de-lurk because I love me a good cervical mucus discussion. A few things:

    (1) Speculum monitoring is just so much better for monitoring your CM because you can actually see what’s coming out of your cervix. I also thought my CM was crappy and I didn’t think I was getting much fertile fluid until I started using a speculum. I felt ridiculous trying it (a crunchy midwife friend gave me a box of plastic ones and I was like, “Yeah, of course you think this is a good idea cause you look at cervices all day for fun”), but it really was reassuring.

    (2) Evening primrose does help, but I’ve also found that ground-up flaxseeds increase the quantity and stretchiness. I do two tablespoons a day. What I like about flax is you can use it throughout your cycle, whereas evening primrose is only safe until ovulation.

    (3) Pre-Seed is the bomb. It is so nice to have sperm-safe lube for home insems.

  5. Good luck with the caffeine withdrawal. That’s a toughie. I’ll be interested to hear what you think of the book.

  6. Jen said

    Hi there! I found your blog through apracticalwedding.com and saw this post… my fiance Dan is a chiropractor and has seen a lot of people get pregnant with the help of chiropractic. If you want to talk to him about it, you are welcome to contact him at kehreshealth@gmail.com. Thinking of you, good luck!

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