February 13, 2010

We inseminated last night with the aid of an Instead cup and still no surge detected this morning. I’ve woken up this morning to 3 inches of sparkling white snow that reminds me of my new favorite donut at Starbucks.

Yesterday, I decided that this cycle’s present was not going to be given to the spirit of the lovely child on the other side, but to the egg. This month, I got the egg a shiny gum wrapper. I have decided that this month’s egg is going to have to be like a seagull, plucking and picking at lots of dead and dubious sperms, before finding the tender juicy morsel, much like a seagull does to french fries, rocks and gum wrappers before finding the freshest little sand crab.

Next month, insemination will involve: 4 vials of sperm, a nitrogen tank, a speculum, a flashlight, many digital OPKs and an Instead cup. This will cost us somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 dollars and leave us with 1785 for the rest of the year. We can then do 4 dry ice tries or 2 liquid nitrogen tries.

Every night we read a poem from a poetry book. Last night’s poem started off, “Maybe our failed hopes rise like tulips/ out of the cold ground.” It was a lovely poem, maybe one of the lovliest in the book, just an unfortunate way to end a poorly timed insemination.

So, no offense, Mark Halperin.


6 Responses to “Tulip-like”

  1. Debbie said

    May your fertile mucus be a haven and a boutique hotel for those fellas.

  2. Nicole said

    Timing’s a bitch, ain’t it? I’m sorry this has been such a stressful cycle. Here’s hoping that egg of yours channels some seagull energy!

  3. Me said

    Hope, hope, hope.

  4. Vikki said

    Holding out hope for you…

  5. Kelly said

    Your blog has been nominated for a Lezzy Award! Blogs can only win one category so please let your readers know which category to nominate you in.

    You currently have nominations in the following categories/category: Lesbian Wedding/Engagement

    For more information on this years awards visit: http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/the-lezzies/

  6. […] 12, 2010 This month’s baby present — this month’s baby bribe, offering, shiny trinket from the physical world –  is an Orioles T-shirt. Specifically, the […]

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