Don’t Cry Over Soured Sperm

February 10, 2010

If you want to use the gay sperm shop we are using, you have to be independent. There’s not a lot of hand holding going on at the gay sperm shop. The head bitch in charge isnt going to go out of his way to offer anything other than unsolicited advice. Information, no. Unsolicited advice (and the url to his gay marriage blog)? Yes.

So, I sent gay sperm man an email Tuesday asking a few questions about delivery and he replied the same day telling me that if I needed sperm, I better email him by Thursday, because he was taking a three day vacay starting Friday.

Cool, thanks for all that notice, gay sperm man.

So, I’ll order sperm on CD 12, it will arrive CD 13, and the sperm will go sour by the AM of CD 14.

Here’s hoping.

In other news, someone has to sign for it. So, I’m having it sent to work and signed for by the client records specialist, who, although flamingly gay and a fabulous dresser, has only worked there for two weeks. I’m not ready to tell him he will be signing for my sperm. I just sent him an email to ask him to sign for a package that does not contain drugs and is not Cash On Delivery. I punctuated it with an emoticon.

Finally, I dont know what the package looks like, but I have to assume it is no bigger than a bread box and doesnt have the words “Gay Sperm Lovingly Packaged Just For You By Red-Headed Gay” emblazoned upon it.

Here’s hoping. For real.


7 Responses to “Don’t Cry Over Soured Sperm”

  1. twohotmamas said

    Is this a person, sending via bio-trans? Or coming from a bank? Because if it’s from a bank, it should last longer, a, and b, it’ll be a big. ass. box. Usually with warnings all over it. Heh.

  2. Debbie said

    Fingers crossed indeed! Good luck and I’ll be thinking of you.

    Does your sperm come in a giant Nitrogen tank? See:

  3. mrsbasement said

    Its from a bank. he said the box would be eleven inches square with no discernible markings. I thought it should last longer too, 72 hours minus 24 hours for shipping equals 48 hours for inseminating. Ship Thursday morning arrive Friday morning use by Sunday morning. Oi. Who knows.

  4. Mina said

    Good luck! You made me laugh with the “Gay Sperm Lovingly Packaged Just For You By Red-Headed Gay”, and I needed a laugh today. 🙂

  5. twohotmamas said

    Wow. I have to say I wonder what bank it is. *g* My bank ships in tanks that last a week, and you can upgrade to a 2-week tank. But then, those are about 2.5 feet tall…

  6. mrsbasement said

    they are shipping on dry ice. i was trying to save money and time off work by avoiding nitrogen. now, maybe im starting to regret that decision.

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