Sperm Shop vs. Sperm Boutique

January 4, 2010

Tonight is our first full night in the apartment. When I got home to her lying on our new Salvation Army couch, I laid my head down on the blue cushion and wept tears of relief. Wifebian was coming out of a cold medicine stupor while I was doing this. Wifebian has caught a cold after spending three days in an apartment without heat, feverishly painting the living a lively shade of sky blue. I got up and fetched her soup. Then, I put the bed together. Then, I went out again to fetch her a cookie. I got cranky when Wifebian inquired about some stray, wholly unnecessary, screws left over from the bed project. She is now working on falling asleep.

In an interesting twist, there seems to be a totally awesome fertility clinic about 15 minutes from our new place. I inquired on-line about their donor egg program, as in me donating eggs. They pay 4500 and will consider women up to 31 and eleven months of age. She and I only have enough money for between 3 and 7 tries this year. If we inseminate once per month it’s 7, if we inseminate twice per month it’s 3. I also want to find out how much it would cost for them to check up on our donors sperm stats. And I mean, I know this probably sounds crazy, but like, while they are in there retrieving my eggs, couldnt they just make me  a baby, too?

I sent that email to the sperm shop and the sperm shop man ignored four out five questions. Specifically motility, morphology and sperm count of my donor, number of failed cycles with this donor and whether or not this donor is IUI ready.  He also ignored the question about how I would like an itemized receipt of my purchases so far.

So, I am going to this new clinic for a few reasons:

1.) To scope them out as an alternative to the sperm shop, since they are a sperm boutique.

2.) To see how much it will cost to have them analyze the sperm shop’s goods and if this is even feasible, given the crazy time constraints of shipping sperms

3.) To find out if I am a candidate for donating eggs and if Wifebian and I are willing to take the risks of complications in order to get together the money for our own fertility endeavors since we dont have to, just yet

4.) To find out if there is any way to donate eggs and make a baby for myself in the same cycle. Or to save some eggs for next time or something to benefit us with our own eggs. I guess that would depend on how many follicles happened. Look at me using fertility words!

So, I realize this is all crazy and preposterous. But I’m at a disadvantage here, in more ways than one (not too much money — even fewer sperm) and since I’m already prone to scheming, this is what’s happening. I promise I’ll keep it short.

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One Response to “Sperm Shop vs. Sperm Boutique”

  1. Loaf said

    So glad you’re in your own apartment now! I hope the sperm stuff works out.

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