The Breast-Feeding Dream

September 27, 2009

I dreampt that I had had the baby. I was sad because I hadnt felt the sense of attachment and adoration that I thought I would. Then, suddenly, I realized that I had forgot to feed it. I went into my bedroom and found it, the size of my palm, wrapped in leaves, and tacked to the wall. The baby was cold and almost lifeless. When I considered whether it might be dead, I felt guilt, shame and relief. When I touched it, it moved and opened its eyes.

I took it down off the wall, laid on the bed, and brought its mouth to my nipple. I didnt think it would be able to hold onto my nipple because its mouth was so small, but it did. Breastfeeding didnt hurt. The baby began to gain color and grow. It was a boy, he was cute. I switched breasts. He grew more, he looked eight. I was sad that I wouldnt have a cute, chubby baby to take pictures with and walk around with. He grew. He was blonde and didnt look like me.

We were in an apartment. I dont know whose or where, but I didnt want anyone else in the apartment to come in and when a friend came to the dirty window, I didn’t call out to her.

He was a teenager, we were outside. He was running though people’s backyards disobeying me. Another man was there, yelling at his son. I was embarassed that I didnt have control over him.

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In other news, it is 12 days since the first day of my period. I used my first ovulation predictor stick yesterday and it was negative. So was the second one. It was fun.

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One Response to “The Breast-Feeding Dream”

  1. […] is the second dream I have had in which the child is wrapped up and then unwrapped after infancy. I was in […]

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